Why help coaching clients accept the unchangeable?
As society has evolved and man has realized that we can manipulate our environment to create a reality that suits us, we’ve become accustomed to the idea of changing external circumstances. This has allowed us to evolve and become what we are today.
However, when we cannot change our circumstances, what then? The default is to shut down, get angry, or attempt to cope and ignore the situation.
We’ve gotten so good at coping that we’ve adopted the practice as a personality trait. A client who has this ingrained in their psyche will always choose resistance over acceptance. As coaches, it’s our job to identify when a client is just coping and encourage them to alter their inner attitude and make peace with the unchangeable circumstances OR if it is changeable, work towards genuine change.
Let’s look at some questions that can help!
But, before we dive in, you need to know that many of the questions we present here are inspired by Coaching Questions by Tony Stolzfus. We highly recommend you buy a hard copy for your desk AND a digital copy for easy access on your phone.
Coaching Questions: A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills
Digital: $9.99 (Kindle) | Physical: $14.99 | # of Pages: 100
Sample Buyer Review: I recently bought at random 5 books on coaching as a review as I was recently referred my first coaching client. This book, “coaching questions” was by far, the most valuable. It is smart, comprehensive yet to the point, and intuitively makes sense as well. It’s the kind of book you can pick up and at any point find something of value.
9 Coaching Questions to Help Your Clients Accept The Unchangeable
1. What if instead of coping with this thing, you dealt with it once and for all?
2. When you are faced with this kind of situation, how might your attitude or response need to change in order to function optimally?
3. If you cannot change this circumstance, how can you choose to experience it differently?
4. If you can’t change this, how can you make your peace with it?
5. What is this experience teach you? How is this pain serving you?
6. What good could come of this?
7. What could this teach you about compassion, grace, endurance, or character?
8. How could this experience become a defining moment for you?
9. What would it take for you to feel at your best in the middle of this, even if nothing changes?
Final Thoughts
Questions that help your clients break through walls of resistance are such powerful tools to have as a coach! Sharing these questions with your clients can not only drastically improve their lives for the better but also strengthen your confidence as an impactful coach.
Coaches are most effective when they ask questions. Giving your clients all the answers they are seeking might seem like a helpful approach, but it can actually be a huge disservice to them. It’s your responsibility to help them find the answers within themself. When you ask clients the wrong coaching questions, they can easily become confused and feel ignored. That’s why it’s crucial to research, practice, and master the art of asking questions.
What questions do you use to help your clients embrace their ability to accept the unchangeable? Let us know in the comments! We’d love to hear about what works for you.
About The Author
Hey! I’m Cass, a brand coach and the Co-Founder & Chief Brand Officer at Lovely Impact, a website template shop for coaches. I help coaches elevate their businesses with beautiful branding and websites. Here on our blog, my content focuses on branding, web design, and storytelling.
Hey! I’m Tee, a brand and marketing coach and the Co-Founder & CMO at Lovely Impact, a website template shop for coaches. I help coaches grow their coaching businesses digitally. Here on our blog, my content focuses on web design, marketing, business, and social media strategy.
